


Carry Me in Your Arms

by louandhaz



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: 10 Things, Aftercare, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt Jim, Hurt Spock (Star Trek), Hurt/Comfort, Jim needs a hug, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Pon Farr, Protective Leonard "Bones" McCoy, Protective Spock (Star Trek), T'hy'la, Tarsus IV, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 07:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15577095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louandhaz/pseuds/louandhaz
Summary: Captain James T. Kirk is definitely not a damsel, oh no he is not. It’s just that Commander Spock is too initiative sometimes (a lot of times) and protective, but that does not mean being half-Vulcan he could lift the captain into his arms as much as he wants!orThe many times Spock swept Jim off his feet. Literally.





	Carry Me in Your Arms

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a 5+1 fic.
> 
>  
> 
> It is a 10+0 fic. Yay!
> 
>  
> 
> Please enjoy! :))

**Carry Me in Your Arms**

**1.**

 

The first time it happened, they were on an away mission.

Jim had an arrow stuck in his leg and _Christ_ did it fucking _burn_. Being captain didn’t mean any other crew members were expendable—not in Captain James T. Kirk's books anyway—so when the hostile, primitive inhabitants wanted the strange aliens suddenly appearing in their village to get the fuck out and they started shooting arrows at them, Jim had roared for the away team to run for safety. He had started pushing them towards the forest when he felt pain piercing through his leg.

Spock, his awesome partner in crime ( _ _“_ You are my superior officer, Captain, and Starfleet officers do not commit crimes-” “Human expression, Commander.”_) immediately supported Jim’s weight and started firing his phaser at the savages while Jim requested for immediate beam out.

“Scotty!”

_“Give me a second, Captain- just a second!”_

“We don’t have a second-” Jim gasped as the throbbing in his leg intensify, making his vision blurry for a second. The next thing he knew, he was being lifted up into Spock’s arms and Jim was gasping for another reason.

“Spock-”

“Please remain calm, Captain.” Spock then took off to catch up with the other crew members while dodging the arrows. From the corner of his eyes, Jim saw two security members shooting their phasers to cover Spock’s back and man, if Jim weren’t in so much pain right now he would have whooped out loud like a proud parent. Currently though, he could only grimace in pain but he was proud of them all nonetheless.

Suddenly, his body was surrounded by light and before he knew it, he and his away team had made it safely back to the transporter room.

“Dammit, Jim!” Ah, Bones. Now he can finally pass out.

Before he let the darkness took him, the last thought that went through his mind was Spock’s body was so warm against his.

 

 

****2.** **

****

The second time it happened, Jim wasn’t exactly coherent.

The _USS Enterprise_ was on orbit on planet Risa for shore leave and after six months of being chewed and/or praised by the admiralty, handling millions of paperwork and taking responsibilities for almost five hundred lives, Jim felt he deserved to unwind.

So he did.

After three drinks, the blond was still on his feet, dancing to twenty first century music in the club he didn’t remember the name of. The fourth drink, though, made his head dizzy and that was weird because Jim usually could handle until at least _seven _.__

Jim felt weak and confused, not too mention his head was pounding so hard. He couldn’t focus on anything, he didn’t even notice a hand grabbing his arm. “Hey there, beautiful. You alright?” The voice purred. “I think you need some fresh air.” Jim then found himself being pulled outside the club and into an alley.

Hands.

There were hands pushing him against the wall, one on his chest and the other against his crotch. Jim weakly pushed against the blurry image in front of him to no avail. He was beginning to panic until something pulled the body off of him, making Jim land on his butt and free from the unwanted hands.

“Dude, what the fuck- _argh!_ ” Jim forced his eyes open to find a figure pushing another smaller figure into the wall. He couldn’t hear what the taller one was saying but he could see the shorter one’s face a bit clearly now and he was _terrified._

The taller figure then handed the shorter figure to someone Jim recognized as the club’s bouncer and, huh... the taller figure had pointy ears.

Another pair of hands landed on him, but this time they were gentle. They were... Spock's? 

Spock put an arm around Jim’s shoulders and under his knees before standing up with his captain in his arms.

“Spock…?” Jim slurred.

“Yes, Captain.” When Jim stated he wanted to go to a club on his shore leave, it took only a few moments for him to decide to follow his captain. In stealth.

Not only did the both of them have settled their differences from the Narada incident, the months spent together as a command team had made him realize that he cared for Jim not only as his commanding officer but also as his friend. Like Nyota… and perhaps more.

He only took his eyes off Jim for one minute point fifteen seconds because an Orion had, in human terms, flirted with him when he realized his captain was gone. He was highly disturbed and will admit that he was angry (though he would not admit that fact to anyone) when he found Jim in a dark alley with a stranger and by what he had observed, it was non-consensual in Jim’s part.

Seeing the image almost broke his control and after reprimanding the stranger who had dared put his hands on Jim, Spock took the blond in his arms and called Doctor McCoy.

Jim shivered in Spock’s arms, the latter’s shirt gripped tight in the blond’s hand, confusion and a tint of fear showed in his cerulean eyes. “ Spock, what…?”

“It is alright, Jim. You are safe.” _You are always safe with me._

As if Jim could read Spock’s mind, he started to relax. Jim hummed as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the half-Vulcan’s shoulder. A few seconds later he was unconscious.

Spock would lecture him later on safety and responsibilities, but as the captain’s health right now is top priority, he quickened his pace to find Doctor McCoy.

 

 

****3.** **

 

The third time it happened, Jim had almost died.

They had been ambushed by Romulan pirates with a ship almost as big as Nero’s. It was like a repeat of the past: the Romulan captain had demanded the Federation captain to board his ship alone in exchange for the latter’s crew to be spared. Jim as captain of the ship was sacrificing his life for his crew, just as Captain Christopher Pike and Captain Richard Robau had done in the past.

Spock, along with all of the bridge crew members were against the idea immediately. If Leonard had been on the bridge and was not currently tending to the injured crew members because of the attack, he would definitely have thrown a fit at Jim’s plan. No, he would commit _mutiny_ by injecting a hypo filled with sedative just so he could keep Jim from killing himself.

Spock followed Jim into the transporter room in haste. “Captain, this plan is unwise!”

“I don’t have a choice right now, Mr. Spock.” He stepped onto the platform and turned around to look at Spock. The half-Vulcan’s eyes widen when his captain gave him a confident smile. “When Scotty’s done with the damages and I’m back on the _Enterprise_ , you and Bones can lecture me all you want.”

When, not if. Even now, it seems the captain still does not believe in no-win scenarios. Seeing Jim’s unwavering faith, Spock straightened his back with a new resolve.

“Captain, please rest assured that we will endeavor to prevail as we had done so in the past.” _Wait for me, Jim._

Jim nodded. “Come pick me up after you’re done, Spock.” _I’ll be waiting._

And the captain was gone.

 

*

 

Jim was hanging from the ceiling of the pirate ship’s brig, a pair of chains around his arms and legs. His shirt was torn, his head was bleeding, there were bruises on his face and his ribs and one of his legs were definitely broken. The Romulan pirates did a good number on him because Jim didn’t give them the codes they wanted. They were amused at first to have a punching bag, but when the human captain didn’t succumb, while the amusement was gone, the torturing continued.

He didn’t know how long he had been tortured, but he still had faith that his crew would save him and even if they don’t, he hoped they could at least save themselves and were already gone by now-

“Jim!”

-or not.

Jim groaned as he opened his eyes. “Bones?”

A phaser shot went through the chains holding him up, making him gasp in pain. He groaned again as he was lowered to the ground, though the hands cradling his body was a source of comfort so he cling to them. His body was so used to pain, he didn’t even flinch when two hypos were injected into his neck. “Spock, we need to get him back to the ship! I’ve got no equipment to help with this much damage!”

Bones not only sounded angry but he also sounded frustrated and… scared?

No. Bones shouldn’t sound so scared. Jim wanted to comfort him, but he could only groan and whimper when a pair of hands lift him up, bothering his injuries further.

“Five to beam out, Mr. Scott!” Great, Spock also sounded scared and now Jim has to comfort him too.

Jim muster all the strength he could to grip Spock’s shirt with his right hand while extending his left to grip Bones’ who was fortunately standing near them.

“’m a’right…” With his already weak vision, Jim could see Spock and Bones’ eyes widen comically and if he weren’t in so much pain, he would have laughed at their identical expressions.

Bones laugh was full of surprise and hysterics as he instinctively placed his hand on top of Jim’s and squeezed. Meanwhile, Spock whose hands were full only tightened their hold on the blond.

“’Alright’, he said! Damn it, Jim…”

“I concur, Doctor.” He agreed with Leonard, though his eyes never left Jim’s. As light finally illuminate them all, Jim gave in to the pain and knew no more.

 

*

 

Jim woke up to his CMO’s angry face. “Finally, the sleeping beauty awakens!” The doctor then proceed to give him two shots of hypos.

“Nice to know you think I have a pretty face, Bones.” He groaned while rubbing his sore neck with his hand, the one without an IV stuck to it.

“I’d be blind not to. I’d also be complementing you more if you’d stop trying to get yourself killed all the time, ya infant!” The deeper Bones’ Southern accent was meant he had been  _very_ worried. Huh. So Jim had really almost died.

“Thanks for saving me, Bones.” Again.

Jim’s smile and soft reply made Leonard freeze for a second, all his temper gone in an instant. Well, almost all.

Leonard shook his head and started grumbling about reckless captains and stubborn hobgoblins while leaving for his office. That’s when Jim noticed a Vulcan standing a few feet away from his biobed. The younger male smiled at him and motioned for the older to sit on a chair beside him.

Spock sat and Jim's smile widened. “You came for me.”

“Always, Jim.” 

They held each others’ gaze for a long time.

 

 

****4.** **

 

The next time it happened, Jim was kidnapped.

They were supposed to make a treaty with this recently discovered class M planet called Planet Sara II and the mission had actually gone well. The away team had been welcomed by the Saran and their queen and they were having a feast until they were given a drink that made Jim black out.

Jim opened his eyes to find himself naked with the exception of some kind of loincloth that barely hide his goods. He was also tied to a stake and around him were pile of woods, branches and twigs, waiting to be lit with fire.

He could only hope this planet had rain in it.

“Your Grace, what is the meaning of this?” Jim tried to remain calm while tugging the ropes currently tying him.

He couldn’t see his away team anywhere, only the Sarans who now have hungry expressions on their faces and masks rather than the warm and gentle expressions they showed him before. He hoped his crew was still alive somewhere and planning their escape. And even better, his rescue.

The queen didn’t answer him, however, and turned to her people. “Rejoice, my people! The time has finally come for us to be given grace by the Gods! The legendary blue eyed and golden haired sacrifice has come into our lands and we will be prosperous once more!” But of. Fucking. Course Jim had to have the greatest luck.

The Sarans raised their hands and cheered while the queen took a fire torch from her henchman and made her way to Jim.

“Wait, wait, wait! Can’t we talk about this? We were having such a great time, you and my crew-”

“Be calm, Golden One. Your sacrifice shall not be in vain.” She smiled as she lit the fire around him.

At that, Jim started struggling. He didn’t know what kind of oil was smeared around the woods but it made the fire around him spread quickly, and soon enough, Jim was coughing and inhaling smoke.

 _‘Shit, I can’t breathe-’_ He continued struggling and coughing while the Sarans cheers became louder and louder. He could only hope his crew was alright. His only regret was he couldn’t tell Spock the truth, about how much he--

“NOW!”

And suddenly, it was chaos.

Phaser shots were everywhere and the Sarans cheering became screams of horror and battle roars as they tried to fight back against the… other Sarans?

What the hell was going on!?

The next thing he knew, Jim’s bonds were loosened and one Saran took him in his arms, carrying him away from the fire and the chaos.

Jim coughed harshly but not wanting to miss his chance of escaping, he pushed the Saran away so he could run away. Or at least, he tried too.

“Get- _cough! Cough! _-__  get away from me! _Cough!_ ” He continued his struggles until the Saran decided to… hug him?

“Jim. _Ashayam._ ”

Okay, he knew that voice anywhere.

“Spock!?” He spluttered before coughing again. “How-” It was only then that Jim remembered the Sarans used cloaks and ugly masks in daylight—something Uhura had told him before beaming down to the planet. His crew, his wonderful and brilliant crew must have used their wonderful and brilliant brains to plan their escape and his rescue. And if Jim were only unconscious for a short time, they must have acted quickly.

Gods, he’s absolutely proud of each and every one of them.

Jim laughed. “Holy crap-you really should stop rescuing me all the time, Commander.” He grinned as he took off Spock’s mask, only to be greeted by the infamous eyebrow.

“It is illogical to stop ‘rescuing’ you as it would dictate my duty as your First Officer and could lead to your unwell-being or worse, death-” Spock froze and Jim instantly knew why. Despite Spock’s continued effort in his duties, Jim _had_ died almost a year ago.

Christ.

If anyone could see them right now, what with Spock who was wearing colorful cloaks and carrying an almost naked Jim—bridal style—but Jim didn’t care. It must be all the smoke he had inhaled or he just wanted to comfort Spock, so he put his arms around the half-Vulcan’s neck and hid his face in his commander’s shoulder.

“Take us home, Spock.”

Spock tightened his grip on his captain. “Yes, Captain.”

“Jim.”

“...Yes, Jim.”

And he did.

 

****

****5.** **

 

The next time it happened, Jim was ill.

Or Spock thought he was, until his captain resigned his command to Spock and deemed himself emotionally compromised, following Regulation 619.

The mission to Celti IV was hard, tiring, troubling and… exasperating. The _USS Enterprise_  was given a mission by the admiralty to aid Celti IV in restoring their food supplies as well as treating the sick and hungry colonists because a famine and plague had occurred in the planet. Between the labor work, sickness, and dealing with the broken spirits of the colonists who have suffered from hunger and deaths, the crew of the _USS Enterprise_ were weary.

They still performed their duties, of course, because they are Starfleets finest.

But when Captain Kirk relieved himself of command, his crew was surprised. They didn’t question him, however, because the captain had been doing much of everything anyway: calming the colonists, making sure that every mouth was fed and the wounded and sickly treated. The example set by their captain was one the crew had absolutely followed and watching how tired he was only made the crew’s resolve even stronger because they did not want to let him down.

“I relieve you, Sir.” Spock stood next to Captain Kirk, calm and determined.

Jim held his gaze with a weary and defeated expression. “I’m relieved.”

When the turbolift’s door closes, Spock nodded at the bridge crew, “As you were.” and they went back to work.

He, however, could feel the stares of Nyota, Lieutenant Sulu and Ensign Chekov. Being around humans all these years has made him familiar of the expression that desired for him to ‘take care of it’, and in this case, ‘it’ means Jim.

 

*

 

Four point seven two hours after being given command, Spock left the conn to Lieutenant Sulu and made his way towards Captain Kirk's quarters. Spock rang Jim’s door three times before using his override codes and making his way into the younger male’s quarters. “Jim?”

And then he heard sobbing coming from his and Jim's shared bathroom. Quickly making his way towards the source of the noise, Spock’s eyes widened when he saw the worn form of his captain on the cold tile floor. The stench of vomit reached his sensitive nose, but he did not care of that as the only thing he was focused on was Jim’s face which was stained with tears and a miserable expression.

Spock was half-human. He was raised to throw away emotions to embrace his Vulcan side, and even when he had started to embrace his human side when his mother had died, Spock still controlled his emotions and expressions to the best of his abilities.

All that went out of the window when he kneeled on the floor and took Jim’s shaking form in his arms.

He could feel Jim instantly fighting to get away from him, to protect himself. Spock almost let go, only to remember how he had done the same to his mother all those years ago and instead of letting go, she had tightened her hold until Spock gave up. It took a few minutes longer for Jim to stop fighting, but eventually he too, gave up.

The blond sobbed loudly into Spock’s neck, fingers tightening around his shirt as if afraid the half-Vulcan would go away. Spock did not plan on leaving Jim anytime soon and he showed him by rubbing his back up and down with his hand and cradling his head with the other.

Ten minutes point forty five seconds later, Spock found himself on the floor with his back against the wall with Jim between his legs. He laid against Spock's chest, soft hiccups replacing the harsh sobbing from before.

“You were on Tarsus IV.” Jim tensed.

Spock kept his arm around Jim’s shoulders, thankfully the blond only pulled back a bit to look at Spock’s eyes.

“Did you read my…?”

“No, Jim.”

He would never read Jim’s mind without permission. When Jim was crying his heart out, Spock had sent waves of comfort and reassurance through their touch, yet he also wondered what could bring his fearless captain to his knees like this. And then his eidetic memory reminded him of Jim Kirk’s medical history that he had read prior to his assignation on the _Enterprise _.__ Back then he only wondered briefly how Captain Kirk’s medical history from thirteen to eighteen years old was left blanked. That evidence, the time frame and Jim’s behavior this past week slammed through him as his mind finally reached the answer to his puzzle.

His captain. His friend. Jim had been on Tarsus IV. The thirteen year old, a _child_ had faced a madman and survived genocide. The illogical part of his brain was angry at the people and maybe even the universe for letting his friend be on that wretched place.

Jim teary red eyes stared at Spock’s. Spock deemed Jim had found whatever he was looking for when the latter rests his head against his shoulder again. After a few minutes, Jim sighed. “I thought I could do it… I thought I could handle it… turns out I couldn’t. That’s why I 619’d, else I would’ve broken down. Pathetic, huh?”

Two seconds later, Jim snapped his eyes back to Spock’s. “Sorry, Spock, I didn’t mean-”

“It is alright-”

“No, it’s _not_. I didn’t mean _you’re_ pathetic-” Because Spock had broken down in front of the bridge crew before. Has it really been that long since it happened?

Spock only tightened his grip on Jim. “Jim _ _.__  It is alright.”

Jim’s eyes widened before he calmed himself down. “You called me Jim.”

“Thatis your name, Captain.” Spock said before putting his hand under the blond’s knees and lifting him up while Jim put his arms around Spock’s neck.

“I will take you to sickbay.” Spock stood and managed to flush the toilet before carrying Jim out.

Jim shook his head before leaning it against his commander’s shoulder. “Please don’t. I don’t want Bones to worry about me when he has his hands full on the sick colonists.

Spock wanted to argue, but seeing Jim’s pleading eyes, which were full of trust and weariness had deterred him. Giving up, Spock carried Jim to his bed. When he places his captain on the bed, Jim grabbed his arm before he could pull away.

“Stay.” Spock hesitated before climbing into the bed.

He was now on his back with Jim’s head on his chest and an arm around his waist. His own hand was alternately stroking the blond’s back and hair.

“Rest, ashayam, I am here.”

Jim sighed. “What’s that word mean?” He whispered, eyes fluttering shut. Before Spock could answer, Jim was already asleep.

After seven days of nightmares, Jim dreams of warmth and food and family.

 

 

****6.** **

 

Twenty four point four five days after Celti IV, Jim was back to normal whereas Spock has finally admitted his ‘feelings’ towards his captain.

Jim Kirk is an intelligent and passionate being. He was confident and courageous but his bravery does not mean he was foolish. He was also determined and positive, cold towards his enemies and always weary to his surroundings but that does not mean he was unforgiving or passionless. And most of all, he was kind, caring and protective. It pleases Spock that his captain was also aesthetically pleasing. That, and his intelligence (whether it was at chess or debating and arguing with strategy planning and so on) were always stimulating.

Spock was… in love with his captain.

He knew his mother would be proud of him and may be a bit amused that her son was following his father’s footsteps: falling in love with an ‘illogical’ human.

Nyota had threatened him to confess to Jim ( _“Don’t take anything for granted, Spock. Don’t take_ him _for granted.”_ ) making Spock a bit annoyed but he was nevertheless grateful to have such a good friend like her.

Doctor McCoy, on the other hand, annoyed him quite much. He did not know how the doctor knew of his feelings towards Jim—“Oh, please. Anyone with eyes could see you fallin’ head over heels for him. It’s only a matter of time before he does, but why wait that long?”

“Doctor?”

Leonard huffed while snapping his file on Spock shut. Like everyone on the ship, the half-Vulcan disliked physical exams though he would not admit it. “I’m saying you should sweep Jim off his feet before others come along to steal him.”

Spock was alarmed. “Steal him?”

“What are you doing, repeating every thing I said? Now get out of my sickbay and make your moves on Jim! Even better, tell him to come here for his physical after you're done! Out!”

And Spock found himself in front of Jim’s quarters. He rang the door to receive a “Come.” as permission to come in.

The captain smiled almost immediately when he saw who it was at the door. Spock felt his heart flutter when he realized he was the one responsible for that smile. “Hey, Spock. I thought we’re meeting at twenty hundred for chess?”

Jim’s confusion at his First Officer’s weird behavior continued on as the Vulcan asked for Jim to stand up, an unreadable expression on his face.

Jim decided to humor him. “Alright, now what? It’s not like I have a hundred paperwork or anythi-” The captain yelped as he found himself lifted from the ground and into the arms of Spock, Jim himself reacted on instinct by putting his hands on the Vulcan’s shoulders for leverage.

“Umm…” Jim was speechless when he was met with Spock’s awfully close face. At the back of his mind, he told himself this wasn’t the first time he was held in his commander’s arms like this. Though he was half-Vulcan, Spock has the strength of a normal Vulcan, which means he was three times stronger than any human including Jim. He could lift any other human as he liked, hell, he could _kill_ any human if he wanted too or at least render them unconscious or cease them off their movements any time he wants.

However, he also knew that the times Spock have gathered him in his arms were resulted by injuries and the means for comfort. Unlike this moment. 

So Jim felt himself flushing at the proximity of Spock's face.

“Uh… care to tell me what's this about?” Jim wanted to laugh, he really did, because what kind of situation defined being held bridal style by your own commander?

Jim flushed when he thought of the word ‘bride’. It was then that he realized Spock’s cheeks were green.

He was blushing.

“Did you just read my mind?” He thought Spock needed permission for that!

“I apologize, Captain. You were projecting quite loudly.”

“I’m sorry, was I the one who barged into my captain’s room and decided to pick him up like a sack of potatoes? And really, ‘captain’?  _Now?_ ”

“Captain, you are not a sack of potatoes.”

Jim grumbled. “I _will_ hit you, Spock.”

“Jim.” Okay, that got him to stop talking.

Spock tightened his hold, afraid Jim would run away if he were to tell him the truth.

“I have… I have swept you off your feet-” Spock stared as Jim’s baffled expression. “-as Doctor McCoy has instructed me to do.”

A pause.

“Uh huh. Why exactly did he do that?” _And why would you do anything he said?_ Was the unsaid question.

“Because…” Spock stuttered—Spock _never_ stuttered _—_ and ducked his face as if he was ashamed. Sensing his discomfort, Jim could only do what he can do: he lifted his hands from Spock’s shoulders and placed them on his cheeks, cradling the half-Vucan’s face so he would look at Jim.

“Hey… whatever your problem is, you can tell me, alright? I’m here for you, Spock.”

Jim gave him a gentle smile making a warm, pleasing sensation went through Spock's chest. Touched by the man’s kindness, Spock could tell him nothing but the truth.

“I am in love with you, Jim.” Spock watched as realization dawned on Jim’s face.

What surprised him though, was the fact that Jim smiled at him afterwards, his blue eyes twinkling.

“Yeah?”

“...Yes. You knew?”

Jim shrug, still smiling. “I had a hunch.”

Spock frowned. “Doctor McCoy informed me you have not realized your feelings towards me yet.”

“I don’t tell Bones _everything_ , Spock.” Spock raised an eyebrow. “Alright, I do, but I haven’t had a heart to heart with him for awhile now. Anyway, is this why you ‘swept me off my feet’?”

Spock’s cheeks greened again. He nodded before asking, “Your answer?”

If Spock thought Jim’s smile was aesthetically pleasing most days, this one certainly rose above the rest. “I love you too, Spock.”

Spock reacted by kissing Jim full on the mouth, tasting him and making him moan. When Jim pulled back, breathless, he leaned his forehead against Spock’s and said, “Ashayam.”

Spock’s face flushed even deeper.

 

 

****7.** **

 

It was three weeks after Jim and Spock’s relationship began when they finally had their first fight as a couple. Spock was hiding something, Jim knew, and it didn’t help at all that behind all that confident facade, he was actually quite an insecure person. His confidence wasn’t a lie, no, his cocky attitude was. But sometimes the fear of abandonment likes to creep up on him.

That’s why when Spock was against Jim going down to explore a new planet (again), Jim had snapped at him in the bridge of all places.

For a split second, a hurt expression painted the Vulcan’s face but it was wiped out in an instant. Out of the corner of his eyes, Uhura looked like he wanted to punch him. Hell, _he_ wanted to punch himself. But the hurt of being kept in the dark by Spock of all people won his anger and Jim only stated, “Meet me in the transporter room in ten minutes, Commander. If you don’t want to come on the mission, you’re welcome to suggest a Science Officer of your choosing to go in your place.” Which Spock knew was the translation of: ‘I’m going whether you like it or not.’

And Jim left the bridge with Bones in tow, because the doctor was assigned to go on the mission with the captain and because he’s Jim’s best friend.

“Are we gonna talk about what happened back there?” Bones asked in the turbolift after only two minutes of silence.

Jim sighed. “Later, Bones.” Usually Bones would ask for more explanation because leaving Jim alone with his negative thoughts would be dangerous. That, and Bones was a great friend like that. But now they have a mission and Jim didn’t need the distraction, so the Southerner only clapped his hand on the Iowan’s shoulder.

 _‘I’ve got you, kid.’_ Bones didn't say, but Jim heard him anyway. He gave his best friend his first real smile that day.

 

*

 

Spock had decided to come on the away mission after all. Despite the awkwardness between them, Jim and Spock still maintained their professionalism and both were grateful for the others’ consideration.

A few hours on the Planet Tyra II which didn’t have any living things who can talk; only some kind of animals and plants, the mission was deemed successful. The away team have gathered many samples that were useful for the science and medical team. Another fifteen minutes of collecting samples, Captain Kirk ordered the team go back to the rendezvous point via communicator.

“Alright, Jim?” The doctor was the first to greet him. Even though he had expressed much dislike of being included to explore some unknown planet, he seemed to enjoy discovering useful plants for medication.

“Yeah, Bones. Thankfully we got an easy mission for once.”

“Don’t tempt the Gods, kid. As long as we ain’t out of this planet, anythin’ can happen.”

Jim snorted. “Like what?”

Jim’s luck apparently strikes again when he felt the ground beneath him started to shake. At first it was only a small shake, a second later though, the shaking turned violent and the ground beneath them started crumbling.

“DAMMIT, JIM!”

But he didn’t even do anything! “EARTHQUAKE! EVERYONE, RUN!” At Jim’s orders every one of the away team started running towards safety. The earthquake lasted only three minutes before it receded, but Jim felt like it lasted longer.

He, just like everybody else, was out of breath. Really, can’t they just have a normal, routine mission when nothing special happen for a change!?

But then again, they wouldn’t be the crew of the _USS Enterprise._

As soon as he caught his breath and made sure all members of his away team was unharmed, he pulled out his communicator.

Or he would have pulled out his communicator, if it weren’t for the ground beneath him suddenly disappearing.

“Shit-” He lost balance and started falling backwards-

“JIM!”

-until a hand shot to grab his wrist tightly, making him wince at the bruise that was immediately forming around it. But he guessed having a bruised wrist was better than falling a hundred feet and being splat on a hard surface in an unknown planet.

Christ. He was _dangling_ on the edge of a fucking _cliff_.

“You alright Jim!?”

“Captain!”

 _“Jim!”_ Jim’s eyes opened as he look up to find Spock’s terrified face.

Spock had caught him. If it weren’t for him, Jim would be dead.

Suddenly, the blond found himself being pulled up. He then was once again surprised when Spock abruptly pulled Jim into his arms, carrying him away from the cliff and the away team.

“Spock, wait-” But Spock didn’t wait. He went as far as twenty feet from the cliff before falling to his knees but still didn’t let go of his hold on Jim. Instead, his grip only tightened.

“You can put me down now, Spock.” Jim hesitantly said while trying to find his boyfriend’s face, which he hid in Jim’s neck. That’s when he noticed Spock was trembling. “Oh, Spock.”

He started to rub Spock’s back to comfort him while holding up a hand at the away team—mostly at Bones who already had his tricorder out—so they would give the two of them space.

“Spock, look at me.” Spock shook his head, letting out a soft whimper that only Jim could hear. “Ashaya, please.” At Jim’s plea, Spock slowly raised his head. He let his face be cradled in Jim’s hands, tears were running down his cheeks.

“Jim, I…” Jim shushed him and started kissing his cheeks, opting to brush his tears away with his mouth than his thumbs.

“I’m so sorry, love.” Jim was sorry for lots of thing today. He was sorry for snapping at Spock, for hurting him and for doubting him. Most of all, he was sorry he almost died the way Spock’s mother did.

Spock closed his eyes and murmured, “I almost lost you, t’hy’la…”

Jim cradled his lover’s head and kissed his temple. “You didn’t, love, you didn’t. You caught me, Spock. I’m safe here, in your arms. You’re okay. We’re okay. Sshh…”

They will be okay.

 

*

 

“So you’re telling me a few weeks from now we’re gonna have hot sex?”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “No, Jim. I will have to undergo a mating ritual, which would result in an extreme and erratic physical and psychological imbalance if I do not do so.”

“That’s what I said.” Jim rubbed his temples. “You have to have sex with me, otherwise you’ll…?”

The half-Vulcan glanced at his boots while still keeping his hands behind his back. “I could die.”

“What!?” If Jim wasn’t pissed off before, he was now! “ _That’s_ why you were all quiet on me?”

“Negative. I deprived you of an explanation because I did not want you to be alarmed.”

“Let me get this straight,” The captain pinched the bridge of his nose. “you didn’t tell me about this pon farr thing; a mating ritual where I, as your mate, was supposed to know and you kept quiet about this because you didn’t want me to _worry?_ ”

“If we undergo this ritual I will be deprived of any logic.” Spock’s raised voice didn’t deter Jim in the least.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is that some sort of fallen pride? Are you that ashamed of being emotional-”

“On the contrary, I would also be stripped of emotions. Like an animal, if you will and I could _hurt_ you-”

“-and you thought I wouldn’t be more pissed after you die!? You actually thought I'd let you _die_ rather than be _hurt!?_ ” Spock shut his mouth.

Both of them were standing in Jim’s quarters. Jim breathed harshly while Spock clenched his jaw.

Jim took a step towards Spock. They stared at each other, it felt like hours before one of them decided to speak again. “Do you trust me?” He asked with a much calmer yet shaking voice. He brushed Spock’s cheek with his thumb, the one which has bandages around his wrist.

The latter’s answer was immediate. “I do, ashayam. It is myself I do not trust.” He took Jim’s hand gently, giving a soft kiss into his palm, and then to his injured wrist.

“I know what you’re thinking. Even when you tried to save me, you hurt me. Imagine if you were in your ‘illogical’ state.” Spock nodded in shame, but his eyes widened when he heard Jim’s next words. “But you know what? From the moment we met, up until today on that cliff, you’ve always saved me Spock. You gather me into your arms and you saved and protected me with your instincts. You said during the ritual you could turn into an animal, and what do animals do? They protect their mate. With _instincts_.”

“Jim, I-”

“I don’t want you to die. You don’t want to hurt me. We’re partners, Spock, so let’s do our parts. For each other.”

Unable to hold himself back, Spock kissed Jim’s smiling face. Forget his mating ritual, Spock wanted to perform a marriage bond with his t’hy’la _now _.__

 

****

****8.** **

****

A few weeks later, Jim woke up to the feeling of being lifted up and gathered against a warm body. He was being carried into the bathroom of their hotel room. Though he could feel the bruises and soreness of his body, Jim felt very, _very_ satisfied.

Sure the first three days were a bit intense. Spock wasn’t talking except for growling and such, but it was nothing Jim couldn’t handle. Although coming more than twenty times in five days? Yikes.

Jim groaned as he was lowered into the bathtub and quickly relaxed as he leaned his back against Spock’s chest, enjoying the warmth of the water and his lover.

 

 

**9.**

 

Jim had apparently fallen asleep in the tub because the next thing he knew, he was being lifted up into his lover's arms again, this time with the latter carrying him back to the bed. After they were properly dried, Spock gathered Jim into his arms on the bed while Jim put his arm around the half-Vulcan's waist, their legs tangled together. “I thank thee, Jim. Taluhk nash-veh k’dular.”

Jim smiled, content in having his eyes closed and resting his head on Spock’s chest. “Love you too, Spock. No more sex until next month, though.” He held out his point and middle finger.

Spock met his fingers halfway as he kissed his t’hy’la’s temple. “As you wish, ashayam.”

Both Spock and Jim knew that was a lie, though.

 

 

****10.** **

 

“I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss.” Admiral Archer stated while smiling, and as Captain James T. Kirk and Commander S'chn T'gai Spock kissed, the whole venue cheered.

Six months after Spock’s pon farr, Jim had asked Spock to bond with him so they went to New Vulcan to perform a marriage bond. Though it was unnecessary because Spock and Jim were already bonded from the t’hy’la bond ( _“So we were bonded from the start and you didn’t tell me?” “I have told you about the t’hy’la bond-” “You told me the meaning: friend, brother, lover, not an old, mystic bond that’s so special, that almost all of Vulcan doesn’t have!” “T’hy’la, please-” “Mr. Spock, did you just roll your eyes at me?”_ ), Jim wanted them to be an official married couple on New Vulcan.

A month later, Spock had asked Jim to marry him the human way, with a ring chosen by Nyota and a proposal planned with the help of Leonard, Sulu, Chekov and Scotty.

Spock hadn’t even finished his speech and Jim already said yes.

Tonight, as Jim and Spock made their way to their honeymoon suite after a long, tiring, but happy day, Spock halted.

“Spock? Something wrong, love?” Jim poked his head through the open door, back to the hallway when Spock didn’t enter their suite.

Instead of answering his husband, Spock put his hand on the back of his neck and the other around his waist to give him a deep kiss, which Jim responded to in excitement.

They kept kissing for another minute in the hallway before Jim gasped as he felt Spock lifted up into his arms, bridal style.

Jim pulled back, his arms around his husband’s neck as he smiled at him. “Four years and this is the first time you actually do this right.”

“I am always right, t’hy’la.”

“You know that’s not true, ashayam.”

And they continued kissing while Spock carried Jim through the door of their honeymoon suite. Spock then kicked the door close, not letting go of his t’hy’la.

 

**The End.**

**Author's Note:**

> It took fourteen hours non-stop for me to finish this. Not recommended. :")


End file.
